Seriously what the hell

This person’s name is Nick Pitera. Nick looks like a guy, yes? A little bit nerdy, maybe even somewhat flamboyant, but absolutely male.

See I think Nick looks like a guy. But Nick can’t be a guy. Nick sings too much like a girl. And I don’t mean that it (I will not use the pronoun “he”) has a high pitched voice, I mean it really sounds like a girl. And a girl with a really, really good singing voice. Don’t believe me? Check out the video:

Girly singing

And no, there’s no dubbing. This shit’s for real.

 

Edit:  As this post tends to generate a lot of traffic on my blog, I’ll take the time right now to ask you to visit the rest of the site. Thanks.

Ronald Jenkees

If your first thought was “this is Pat from SNL” then you and I are on the same track. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then please come out from under that rock:

Anyway, why am I linking a picture of someone who is clearly a sociopath?

Because he’s a musical genius.

The picture up there is the album cover of his “CD” – it’s on iTunes. And yes, I did download it. It’s fucking sick.

Some people think he’s just putting on act, and he isn’t really as weird as he seems. I’m not exactly sure what I think about him, to be honest. I mean, not very many people would readily wear those glasses, and the way he talks is very strange, but there’s something genuine about him. You be the judge:

“Disorganized Fun”

Just give it a chance for the beat to kick in. And just so you know, all of his beats are his own creations, made on FL studio.

Cocaine

No, not the drug.

Cocaine THE DRINK!

I don’t know if this works when you link to the site, but if you go to www.drinkcocaine.com, there is a Parental Consent Advisory before you’re allowed to go in. As if that’s going to stop anyone. Pretty awesome though. I kind of want one on this site.

Before I say anything more, if you’re the type to get all up in arms about something like this, fuck off. Seriously.  Kids these days are not super-impressionable and will not start actually snorting Cocaine the drug because of this drink.   I remember when I was a kid there were these life savers that were creme flavored.  My friends and I called them “crack” because they were ”addictive”  We were being dumb kids, but only one of us actually turned out to be a crackhead (JUST KIDDING! - it was two).  To say that this product promotes actaul cocaine use is akin to saying that video games with violence promote school shootings (by the way, if you believe that, please read this).

Back on track:

Let’s break it down. At it’s core, it’s a brilliant marketing strategy, and I respect the company (Redux is their name) for coming up with something this intelligent.  The best way to get attention is to piss off a bunch of people.  Not only that but it fits perfectly.  Everyone knows Cocaine amps you up, so why not make an energy drink with the name? And while they’re at it, they went and put it in red cans very similar to Coke. People will immediately recognize this product, and they are talking about it.  Even me writing about this right now makes me guilty of their viral marketing, but I’m happy to do it, because this idea is so shit-kickingly awesome. And to top it off, their website (if you haven’t clicked already) has really hot girls in Cocaine t-shirts:

Look at that face.

It says “I’m hot and cool and love Cocaine. Also lets have sex.”

Did I mention you can buy these shirts? (they even come in a Valentine’s day gift pack!!) They retail for $16.99.

Anyway, it’s an interesting and funny name for a product, but the company did go a little too far. They have another site that they link to called www.lovecocaine.com. It’s basically a “fansite” where emo-looking kids can post videos about themselves and how Cocaine fits into their life. This is a little too much. But it could be worse, I guess. They could have called it AIDS.

Getting right to it: Time to blow your mind

This blew my mind the first time I saw it.

First, some stats:

Eath is 12,756km in diameter. We all know how big that is.

Jupiter is 142,984km in diameter.

The Sun is 1,392,500km in diameter.

Now, if I were to say “there is a star our there that is 905,125,000km” that would seem like a huge number. But we don’t really get an idea of how big that really is. That’s why I am going to link you to something that will SHOW you what that size really means (btw that 905,125,000 star is Betlegeuse – and it’s nowhere near the biggest we know about):

The Size of Our World

If you’re a lazy asshole and don’t feel like looking at that, then just look at this picture. It’s our Sun compared to the largest star known:

In this picture, The Sun is over 100 million miles from the surface of VY Canis Majoris. To give you another perspective, Earth is about 93 million miles from The Sun. And at that distance, VY Canis Majoris would take up the entire sky in every direction. That’s how fucking big it is.

And what is even more interesting is that this star is in our own galaxy. There are millions of galaxies out there, so it’s more than likely that VY Canis Majoris isn’t even close to the largest star that’s ever existed.

Feel insignificantly small yet?

The first post

So I started this blog because I want to be known as a “blogger.”

OK, I really don’t want to be known as a blogger. Fucking hell, I don’t even know what I’m doing writing a blog. Just the sound of the word pisses me off. Seriously, say it out loud. Blog. It’s ugly. It conjures up images of self-important geeks who have a lot of time on their hands and think they are better than everyone. Instead, the purpose of this is to write down some of my ideas, and put up links to cool shit I find on the internet. I don’t have huge expectations from this – let’s be honest, even if I put a link to this in my AIM profile and my facebook/myspace I will still have very, very few readers. And that’s fine. Then again, you’re reading this right now, so welcome aboard, and let me know what you think of the stuff I post.