The internet has everything

•July 24, 2008 • Leave a Comment

I like to include pictures with my posts. I was never one to just read a huge wall of text, and I’d like to think that the pictures add a bit of fun to the content of this site.

That being said, the internet has a picture of literally everything. I was recently chatting with my friend over e-mail about a dream I had that included raining cotton candy. My stance on the issue was that cotton candy from the sky is a scary topic – his was that it was more delicious than scary. I decided to show him just how scary it could be, and sent him this image:

Pretty scary right? But I digress.

The picture above took me approximatley 4 seconds to find on google. I actually just typed in “cotton candy” into the image search and found that picture on the first page (try it yourself: Cotton Candy Image Search

This got me thinking – I’ve never had an issue finding pictures for this page – not once. So I decided to just randomly make up an image, and search for it, and see what I’d find:

The first one: Cats Ninja Fighting:

The second one: A boy riding a fish:

The third one: A cow swimming like a dolphin:

The world is indeed a strange place. I am reminded of a quote form Charles H. Duell, Comissioner of the US patent office in 1899, who said “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” Obviously he was an idiot, but I can kind of see how he feels now. Try looking on google for random stuff, you’ll be surprised with what you find.


Seed Banks

•July 23, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Sometimes the genius of man really astounds me.

Imagine for a second that Ronald Reagan was not the stand up guy we all knew him to be, and that the Cold War ended up in a full-scale nuclear conflict. Nuclear winter would settle in, and many of the species we know about would likely die or become scarce. Not that it would really matter too much because people in general would become scarce as well, but for the sake of argument, lets say that available food was not, um, available…yeah.

Well, some geniuses came up with the idea of a Seed Bank. These structures are basically safe houses for…you guessed it – seeds. There is one in Norway that just recently opened (pictured below) that is so far north that it is likely to be untouched by pretty much anything we throw at it (including, apparently, a direct hit with a nuke). Any country can come make a deposit of seeds and withdraw them at any time, and apparently because they’re kept at -4 degrees farenheit, the seeds are good for up to 1,000 years.

Actually wait up a second. How in hell does a scientist actually know how long something like a seed would last? There weren’t scientists doing this kind of experiment in the year 1008, so where is this notion coming from? My guess is that people were looking for a number and one of the scientists (“seedologists” – a phrase I just coined) just came out with “about 1,000 years” and it stuck. Anyway here’s a picture of the facility:

No wonder the seeds are fucking cold. I bet I would piss yellow ice out there.

They also have guards, naturally. Talk about probably the single most boring job in existence. I mean, seriously, who is going to rob a fucking seed bank? Here’s one of them:

Kind of looks like a guard from the N64 game goldeneye.

The picture below is not a dog

•July 15, 2008 • Leave a Comment

…it’s a FETAL WOLF.

Yes. You read that correctly.

We all know that before humans bred animals into domestication they were wild. Dogs are no different in this case, and in a lot of situations they still exhibit their wild side (i.e. attacking and actually eating people. It happens. I swear. Seriously.)

And even if you’re one of those purist “evolution doesn’t exist” people, you can’t deny that with dogs at least, breeding has led to their domestication from wild animals.

Come to think of it you probably can deny that, even in the face of cold hard evidence. You know what? if you actually think evolution doesn’t exist, navigate away from this page and go to hell, asshole. And I only say “go to hell” because it’s likely that you believe that hell, a completely abstract thing that no living person has ever seen or been to, does exist. Fuck you and your circular logic. And if by this point you haven’t navigated away, I offer this picture as proof that dogs used to be wolves or something:

That dog will fuck you up.

For the rest of you (believers), I have an interesting tidbit. The dog at the top of this page is of the “toy dog” variety. You often see sluts like Paris Hilton toting one of these ridiculous creatures around like it’s some kind of fashion accessory and not an actual living being.

How, one might ask, did a dog of this size actually make it in the wild before its domestication? What was it hunting, mice?

The truth is, they actually weren’t competing with much because they didn’t exist. Toy dogs actually have many traits of you guessed it, fetal wolves. They got this way through selective breeding, and over many generations, retained features that are only usually seen in ultrasounds when wolves are pregnant. The term used to describe this retention of juvenile traits is Neoteny.

Imagine if you were to tell Paris Hilton that she was carrying around a wolf fetus.

On second though, she probably doesn’t know what the word “fetus” means.


•July 8, 2008 • Leave a Comment

So I think it’s safe to say that pretty much every male from the age of 13-30 has played video games, and has most likely even owned a couple consoles.

We see from time to time kids that have become “professional” gamers, and admittedly there is some money in it. Some of the top players of their kind have not only won hundreds of thousands of dollars playing games, but launched an entire empire (see Fatal1ty ). But, for the most part, people play them for fun.

What I am about to show you, though, is just ridiculous. The game is called Mushihimesama (are you surprised its Japanese? No, I’m not either). Its basically an updated version of space invaders (seen below):

However, as with all old games, it has been updated. A lot. This is a screen shot of Mushihimesama:

I don’t blame you if you can’t tell what is going on. Essentially the purple/pink blobs are bullets that need to be avoided, the boss is at the top of the screen, and the player’s ship is at the bottom. It’s much better if you watch a video of it:

A video of Mushihimesama in action

This begs the question – how did someone get this good at this game? How does anyone?

Two months later…

•July 2, 2008 • Leave a Comment

So yeah, I haven’t updated in two months.

I’d love to say that I have been so busy that I haven’t had any time at all to update, and that life is moving so fast that it’s impossible to keep updating this website.

It’s not true, though.

The truth of the matter is, I have just been doing nothing as of late, and it’s not because I’m depressed or anything, it’s because there is nothing to do where I live. I’m sutdying for my Series 7 license (check here for info: So, I come home after work, work out, study for this stupid test, and go to bed. Not much room for an exciting lifestyle.

That being said, I think it’s time for a change. I am just getting sick of doing the same day-to-day stuff that everyone else is doing, because I know I could be doing so much more. This is the end of this phase of life, that’s for sure.

And to inspire myself, I have included the following picture as a testament to my new outlook on life:

I don’t really get motivated from this picture, I just think it’s hilarious.  Also, I have decided to name the kid in this picture Bradford (Brad for short) because well, it just seemed so fitting.

Anyway, expect to see more from me soon, I promise!

A random thought

•April 11, 2008 • Leave a Comment

So a co-worker of mine was talking to me a few minutes ago about her schedule.  Apparently, she goes to bed at 10:30pm every day, and doesn’t require an alarm to get up.

Personally 10:30 is a bit early.  I feel as though I would be “wasting” a couple hours in the evening if I went to bed at that time, and I’d have a hard time turning my brain off.  I typically go to bed anywhere from 12:30-2am, with 2am being pretty much the cutoff point (usually only if I’m watching the end of a movie or something).

If we get up at the same time, which we do, that means that I get 2 more hours of “awake time” than her.  Let’s add that up:

365 x 2 = 730 hours

730/24 = 30.41666 days.

So, by going to bed two hours later than her each evening, even though I am not actually doing anything “productive” (honestly how much do you get done between the hours of 10:30 and 12:30?) I am still awake a full month more than her every year.  I suppose you could argue that she gets a month more sleep than I do, but I can function on 6-7 hours of sleep without a problem. 

The moral of the story?  If you want your life to seem longer, don’t go to bed so damn early.  You might not live as long, but it will sure feel like you did!!

Space Elevators

•March 14, 2008 • Leave a Comment

So I have no idea how people come up with ideas like this, which is why I’m posting it. 

A woman I work with has a son who did a project on a new sub-planet that was discovered recently.

 The planet is called Ceres, and it’s in the asteroid belt.  Apparently it’s mass is 1/3rd that of the entire belt iself.  It’s big enough to have a spherical shape (unlike oblong asteroids), and scientists claim that there might be liquid water on the surface. 

 Reading about this planet, I stumbled across an article about how humanity will eventually want to colonize other planets and objects.  Targets in our Solar System include Jupiter’s moons, Mars, the Moon (Luna) and this new planet, Ceres.

 One of the major obstacles to us colonizing space isn’t that we don’t have the technology, because we do.  It’s more a question of cost.  It costs between $3,000 and $15,000 for every kilogram of weight that’s blasted into space by conventional rockets.  So, how do we solve this issue?

 Enter the Space Elevator.  The concept is so wild and strange that it just might work.

I know you’re probably thinking “well, an elevator has to be attached to something, so that can’t possibly work” and you’d be right. 

Imagine holding a string with a baseball on the end.  If you spin around very quickly, the string will be taught.  This is the idea behind the space elevator.   Scientists want to elevate a cable with a counterweight so high that the rotation of the earth keeps the cable tight.  Here’s what it would look like:


You essentially would have a little car riding up and down the cable, which after a certain point wouldn’t need any power because of inertia. The Counterweight could even be a Space Station.

The one problem with this is that there is no substance that is strong enough and light enough to be able to do this. Earth based weather is also an issue.

They are, however working on a substabce that will be strong enough. They’re called Nanotubes and I’ll be damned if I am going to try and explain them.